A Tiny Birthday Week-Essay

A gratitude and thank you-note for the facebook birthday-celebrations:

Birthday Week

Phew, it’s been an intense week, this. I’ve contemplated over the two year anniversary of arriving here in LA, the two years when both so much and so little has happened (the “little” referring mostly to bureaucratic things 🤪 ). I’ve been stuck in traffic on the 405, on a bus moving two feet a minute or so, to eventually pass by the wrecked vehicle where other people’s lives took whole new directions a few hours earlier in the morning, only to later laugh and celebrate life as if “nothing happened”. I’ve talked for long with my parents two days in a row – first on my dad’s birthday when I called to celebrate him, then on my birthday the day after when they called to celebrate me 🥳 Luxury.

I’ve spent a full birthday on my own, feeling celebrated and special – most of all by myself 😃 and by friends and family I am so lucky to have. Getting a haircut, dropping in at a “Yom Kippur sound bath” that just happened to be there as I was checking out a dance space, eating the world’s probably yummiest coconut cream pie – twice, because I screwed up Anna’s surprise-gift and went and got a piece for myself the evening before, not knowing that she had organised a whole little thing around it from a distance…but luckily I ate it all that same night so was ready for another one the next day – one for Swedish birthday-time and one for LA-time, basically 🙃 …and afterwards I went to the ocean and felt intimidated by the waves and went into them nevertheless and rediscovered how much fun playing in them is.

I’ve emailed with “our lawyer”, trying to understand how come, just because we were out of the country when we were finally called to an interview this summer, now we’re seemingly back to a sort of “zero” place, where I again cannot work or leave the country (a situation that could have been avoided if the lawyer and I would have been “smarter” this summer and which I think they, as professionals, actually could have been but there isn’t really anything to do about it now – except paying more money to solve the issue…). I’ve been staring at the sky in a sort of disbelief, on the bus going back to Venice from the Valley this Friday (with yet another suuuper yummy cake resting in my tummy – cardamom and lemon cake with vanilla frosting…might be my new absolute favorite), thinking that the air would be clearer from the smoke from the Saddleridge fire over here, only to see that we were basically driving straight into a thick, grey cloud. Spending the night trying to “breath carefully”, with the air filter on max, and at one point not being able to stop the coughing.

I’ve texted with more friends than I feel I have done in a year accumulated, and I’m inspired for the year to come. While at the same time sitting here feeling totally exhausted, not the least from the fire season that just started, again, and all the frustration and fear and…anger that comes with it. Highs and lows, all in a not so heavenly mix, I guess. 🥳

Thank you each and everyone who reached out this week in one way or another! I admire you all who handle this place (as in, facebook 🙂 ) in a more graceful way than I do, and every time I check in I appreciate you all being around – sharing important and fun and scary and silly stuff in a never tiring stream. I think it’s pretty cool actually. 

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